Getting Out of Here

Ok, it's been 5 full days with the family & I've had enough. Leaving at 4pm today to head off to Hollywood & take care of some business over the next few days. Not a moment too soon. See, they're trying to trap me in a power struggle now, my mom & my sister-in-law. Mom is not happy with having the rules of someone else's house imposed on her, and my sister-in-law is beside herself that she cooks & cleans & cares for Mom 24/7, yet receives very little appreciation in return. They are each trying to paint a picture of the other as the bad guy, and seeking my support. What they don't seem to realize is that because I love & support them both, I refuse to see the situation in terms of black & white, 100% right or wrong. They both need to learn to compromise. I will not be put in a position of mothering them. This alternate clinging to me & then taking shots at me when I don't totally agree does nothing but piss me off. I refuse to carry the guilt they're trying to throw at me. It's too damn heavy & doesn't help anyone. Ugh. My head is starting to hurt. Things will work themselves out I'm sure, but I really need to get out of here so they can start dealing with each other instead of running to me. Sort it out. I will help when & where I can, but I will not be the family's martyr & mediator. It's not healthy & it's certainly not my purpose in life.

On a lighter note, I'm leaving in 2 1/2 hours to go apartment hunting! WOOO HOOO!!! :D

www.ladyalchemy.com

Rain, Rain, Go AWAY!!

I thought it never rains in California. It rained all night & we might get up to an inch here in the desert before it ends. It's snowing in other places & I think I heard about flooding in downtown L.A. - not sure as I was pretty groggy & just hearing bits & pieces from the tv as I slept on the couch. In any case, this storm is really screwing up my day. Had plans to pick up some furniture down near San Diego & transport it to a storage unit in Hollywood. Would have been an all-day trip & I had my brother & Michael enlisted to help. I'm leery of leaving the furniture - already paid for - and going back to New Jersey, but the seller seems like a really nice guy & we can't help the weather.

In the grand scheme of things, I've no right to complain. Death toll from the Dec. 26th tsunami has climbed to 40,000 people now & it will probably keep rising. Hard to imagine a wave that large coming in with practically no warning, and amazing that some were able to escape it & tell their stories. We have extended family over in Thailand, but they live some 500 miles away from the coastline that got hit. Our thoughts go out to those who lost loved ones.

Got two recipes from my sister in law today, one for soup & one for Chow Mein, both made from scratch. Mmm. She made the soup for lunch yesterday & it was incredible. She made me use chopsticks & toward the end I could actually pick up the noodles without dropping them. Surprised myself. She's going to teach me to make more of the dishes & she's got to take me to the Asian stores to show me what vegetables she uses. I can't wait to settle in at the new apartment & start cooking again. I love to cook but haven't made time for it in ages.

Ok, I'm off to try & fight the rainy day boredom. I've got two books to read & there's always the internet, but I'm feeling restless & wishing today could be made more productive. I'll learn to relax one of these days.

www.ladyalchemy.com

No Porn in the Buddha Room

I must credit my brother with the title of my post today. It's his. He owns it. He has threatened to hurt me if I don't give due credit. The story behind it? His Thai wife has their altar set up in the same room as his office. She never uses the computer, but when I arrived & went to check my email, he warned me that there are porn sites on his favorites list. I don't care. Neither does she, except there is a time & a place for everything. NO PORN IN THE BUDDHA ROOM.
I made it to California for the holidays, obviously. Flight was ok. Brother remembered to pick me up at the airport & Mom waited up past midnight for me to get to the house. Aww. I'm glad to see her again. Haven't seen her since the end of August when she left NJ. So nice to be with family, surrounded by decorations & gifts & breathing in the aroma of scented candles & pine. I'm taking a ton of photos but didn't bring the software with me, so I'll edit the posts later & add some pics.

We're in the High Desert & every so often the county requires residents to clean up brush & branches & other fire hazards on their property, either through taking the stuff to the dump or controlled burning after getting same-day approval from the fire department. So basically we were allowed to be pyros for a few hours. It was fun. I took photos of that, too. Impatiently waiting for it to stop smoldering so I can wash my clothes, which smell like a camp fire. Mmm, wish we had S'mores. Eating way too much lately, and enjoying every minute of it, too.

www.ladyalchemy.com

Happy Winter Solstice!

I enjoyed the first full day of winter. Fairly warm today & my Christmas & Yule shopping is DONE! YAY!!! What a relief. Now I've just got to finish wrapping & write out the last of the cards. Tonight wasn't so bad. Started shopping around 5:30pm. Was able to hit 7 stores in four different towns & in spite of the traffic, I still got home by 10pm. Nice.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CACKASAURUS!!!

My favorite Sagicrabbyass is celebrating his birthday today. Hey, Cack, did you get my voicemail? Sorry I didn't sing. I'm shy, you know. Here's a picture of us at a Misfits show when we were babies. LMAO!

P.S. - John & Jenna, thank you for the ebay gift certificate. You ROCK! :)

http://www.ladyalchemy.com/

Housepainting Hell

How many walls does this house have?! Far too many. I'll never be done painting. At least, not before I leave for the holidays. I haven't finished my gift shopping either. The girls were easy to buy for this year, but I have no idea what to get for any of the boys. Well, ok, maybe one. He's easy. But the rest? No idea. Holy crap. Stress.

I'm leaving Friday for California & it's not a moment too soon, temperature-wise. It was FIVE degrees when I woke up this morning. FIVE. That's too fucking cold!! Knock on wood, though, the oil burner is working & the house is warm.

Meanwhile, in California, my mother is driving my brother & sister-in-law crazy. She's belligerent. If she doesn't straighten up they're going to put her in a Home for Elderly Delinquents. They threatened her the other day that they would send her back to NJ to live with me. Thanks! Mom, I know you won't read this, but for the love of God (look, I even capitalized it for you!), please, stop being so defiant. I know you have a brain disease & all, but it doesn't mean you have to roll your eyes every time someone tells you to do something. It's for your own good, ok? We all love & care about you. We don't want you walking around in public in clothes that are inside out. You may not believe us when we tell you, but milk tastes much better than Malox on cereal.

You know, it's odd, this Alzheimer's. It's hard to tell sometimes where the person's personality ends & the disease begins. The line is very blurred. Like, most people who know my mother would find it hard to believe she would be disagreeable. She usually comes across as very sweet & easy-going. On the other hand, this is the same woman who, in her early twenties, caught tuberculosis, lost a lung, and was told by her doctor never to have children because her body couldn't handle the stress. She completely defied her doctor's orders & had three - the last one (me) at age 45. And we're all still kicking. So this newfound defiance of hers may not be new at all. Actually, it's sometimes funny & kind of refreshing in small doses, but not when you're exhausted from being the primary caretaker day after day. Now my sister-in-law & brother know why I used to call them crying every three months & saying I needed a break. Sigh. What do I know. It's past my bedtime.

www.ladyalchemy.com

Red Panties, Rasta Girls, and Britney

Photo taken just before leaving for John's party. The mirror is one I painted & have had for years. Ritch admired it last time he was over, so tonight I brought it to the party & told him it's his. Combination birthday, Christmas, and general "I'm going to miss you when I move" type gift. We promised he & Jody & I will get together before I leave. Other than that, the next time we'll see each other for sure will be at their wedding October 9th. I'm so happy for them!

The ornament I made for John's tree started off as Medusa but I couldn't find little rubber snakes at the craft store. Settled for curly jute doll hair and ended up with a Rasta girl. She's cute, though.

The party was awesome. Great people, delicious food, and I happened to walk in the door to Fire Woman, followed by the remaining tracks of Pure Cult. John's going to be on VH1 tomorrow. He was interviewed at his tattoo studio regarding musicians & actors with tattoos, and talked about some really cool ones who have had work done at his shop, like Angelina Jolie. Poor John doesn't find this out until much later, but it's a special show all about Britney Spears. Guess we won't hear Angelina's name mentioned, huh. Can't wait to see how out of context & butchered his interview footage is. Gotta love the fucking media. John Paras at Medusa Tattoo: http://www.medusanyc.com/.

A girl at the party tonight gave me a pair of red panties & explained that it's an old Italian tradition that you must wear red panties on New Year's Eve to ward off the Evil Eye, and you cannot buy them yourself - they must be given to you. Interesting. I'm kind of expecting some evil looks directed my way that evening, so I was very thankful. I asked her if tradition says I have to remove them myself & she laughed & said no, so I'm all for this red panties idea. Now if I can just figure out the rest of the outfit I'll be set.

Continued working in the house today. Painted & cleaned. Called California & spoke to my mom. She turned 80 today (Dec. 18th - it's late now so this will say Dec. 19th). I was told the phone rang off the hook today with people calling to wish her well. I'm glad. She deserves that. I'll be happy to see her next week. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM! I love you.

http://www.ladyalchemy.com/

BRRRRRRR!!!!

Twenty-five degrees is way too fucking cold for me. Not sure when I became reptilian, but I'm freezing my ass off and can't seem to get warm. If I stare at this photo of San Juan long enough, maybe... Not much time for blogging these past few days. Running around shopping & stuff. I actually made it to the gym tonight, too! Figured if I did some cardio I'd get my blood circulating & warm right up. It worked but only momentarily. I need some warm California sunshine!!

Talked to my oldest brother the other day - the one who lives in a ghost town. Verified that although he does have a phone, he does not have a computer, so I'm pretty much able to spill here without worrying about him reading it. Dude. He's fifty something years old - waaaaaay older than me, ok? I cannot stress that enough!!! - and lost his license for DUI, which then made him lose his job. The truck he is no longer allowed to drive broke down anyway, so... DUDE. How the FUCK do you get a DUI in a fucking GHOST TOWN?!?! And why - at 50-SOMETHING YEARS OLD, have you not learned and overcome these life lessons already?!?! That's the part I held back from saying, because, although true, it would have been particularly venemous & how could he possibly respond but to delve further into the depths of "why-me-isms" he is so fond of? So he calls me to explain his woeful tale & how that means he will be unable to visit with the family - a mere 7 hour drive, which in the grand scheme of things, is nothing. Shit, I've driven further for concerts, and back home the same night. I digress. He wants to know if I can get an advance on the sale of the house so he can get to CA for Christmas. Hello?! I'm running to the bank now to get a loan. Yeah right. Seriously, this is his baby sister with the hole in the garage & icicles for fingertips, both of which are far bigger problems to me than his inability to keep cold cans of Coors Light out of his hands prior to driving. Plus, Christmas is less than two weeks away. If you're going to have a crisis out there in the ghost town, dammit, have it before that crucial two-week before the holiday astronomical jump in airfares, will you?! Jesus Christ. My head hurt after that phone conversation. Ran it by the other brother later, just in case I was being a horrendous bitch. Between the two of us, we still haven't decided if we are going to get our brother to California or not.

I did feel concerned enough later to think of an appropriate gift I could send to the ghost town so my that my brother & his girlfriend (who doesn't have a car but walks a mile to work, so I'm told) can get the essentials, or if their essentials are covered - something festive, fun, and trendy - HA! Sorry, couldn't hold it in. Anyhow, so I go online to Target's site & punch in the zip code. Nothing happens. Try Walmart. The nearest Walmart is TWENTY-NINE miles from my brother's town. Good Lord. I give up.

Well, sorry for the rant, but it is my blog & you can click away if it offends. For me, it's therapeutic in more ways than one. My fingers are actually warm!

www.ladyalchemy.com